The main difference: in the head everything happens by agreement.
Why Women Fantasize About Rape
According to some studies , up to 62% of women have fantasized about rape. It should be borne in mind that the sample is not very representative – specifically, only 355 respondents participated in this survey. However, most of them indulged in such fantasies infrequently, on average about four times a year. But the obvious cannot be denied: women run these scenarios in their heads. And not only in a negative way: only in 9% of cases, thoughts caused disgust. 45% of fantasies were purely erotic, 46% are something at the intersection of erotica and disgust.
Rape fantasies can have several causes.
Avoiding negative emotions
Imagine a woman who was brought up in a strict family. She was told from an early age that sex is sin and filth. And it is difficult for her to completely get rid of children’s attitudes. Even fantasizing about intimacy, she feels guilty and ashamed. The script with violence becomes the way out. After all, all these “shameful” things in her fantasy a woman does under duress, she is not like that. That helps her to relieve herself of part of the responsibility for what is happening.
In romance novels set in the past, there is often a plot in which a dangerous man is so addicted to the main character that he simply cannot resist. And she is modest and decent, sex before marriage can ruin her reputation. Therefore, he has to be overly persistent in order for the book to happen for the sake of which it was actually written.
In fantasy, a woman also sometimes wants to feel so desirable that a person literally cannot stop. And sometimes the script may include someone with whom, in her sober mind, she will never contact. Or, for example, a girl does not plan to cheat on her current partner, even in her head. Compulsion to have sex in this case allows you to “make friends” fantasy and reality.
Trying to let go of control
The female orgasm is a complicated thing, not every sex ends with it. And during intercourse, a partner can worry a lot – for her pleasure, for her partner’s feelings, for her appearance, and so on.
The fantasy of coercion allows her to literally relax and immerse herself in the process. The mental lover does exactly what she needs and how she likes – after all, everything happens in her head.
Research shows that women who enjoy sex and don’t feel anxious or guilty about it often fantasize about rape, among other scenarios. Simply because it is an opportunity to safely scroll through anything in your head.
Violence in the past
This is not a common occurrence, but some people with this experience periodically fantasize about violence. True, not because they like forced sex. It’s more of a way to replay the script and make sure they’re in control this time. That is, in this way they try to take control of all their past experience, where they were completely deprived of it.
Why the rape fantasy has nothing to do with reality
People who try to normalize sexualized violence often use fantasies as an argument that nothing bad is happening. After all, women think about it, and so, the dream becomes a reality.
Of course, this is not true at all. For starters, fantasies about forced sex arise for completely different reasons. For example, based on an old injury. And those who have not had such … Read